Schueman, missus off to Splitsville

Just days after the world knew of the Fringe-division-level secret P-Tan nuptials (courtesy of yours truly), glee club director Will Schuester and preggy missus Terri (pictured), former McKinley school nurse, are calling it quits, our sources say. Some demented twist of fate, innit? But that’s not all there is to this ep. Read on to find out how the splitsville drama could very well be the cause of glee club’s sectionals DQ.

South entrance security man Bob Gonzales confirms to TMS that Schueman entered school premises two nights ago at 8:30 PM. “He looked kind of sad, but he was trying to be the usual pleasant William, you know,” Bob says. “[He] said he got into a fight with Terri.”

Fast forward to yesterday, New Directions gets news of disqualification from sectionals because of “profit” from professional engagements.

P. Figg staffer Leslie Park has told us that while glee club wasn’t given monetary pay for the cheese-mix TV spot, they did get complimentary mattresses from Mattress Land owner Randy Cusperburg, which were stacked in the music room. One of the mattresses was used by Schueman to sleep on when he went to McKinley that evening.

“Technically, using the mattress means accepting the ‘pay’ the glee club got for the commercial,” Park explains. “If Mr. Schuester hadn’t used it, there’d be no technicalities like [the glee club’s disqualification].”

So we’ve an innocent TV spot gig and a fight that leads to an overnight stay in campus — and the next thing you know, glee club’s no longer in sectionals race. Who to blame, who to blame.